There is too damned much hugging in this world. Hugs from family, friends, lovers is very good. BUT—this hugging by people you see occasionally and possibly don’t like has gotten out of control. Good god, I’ve been hugged by people I’ve just met. A pox on premature familiarity. I particularly hate situations in which I have to evade the hug of some flaming posterior orifice who thinks it’s his right to grab and slobber on women he has no business touching. Yuck! Quite frankly I want all grab and slobber assholes off the planet and I don’t care how they’re removed.

I don’t know how this idea of hugging EVERYONE got started. There is talk about people not connecting face to face due to SM, i.e., social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. are taking us further and further away from actual human contact. I wish more people would spend more time on social media and keep their paws off me.

Perhaps this urge to merge, briefly, is due to social media. Without being conscious of it, we are anxious about not spending enough time with corporeal, rather than avatar, people. So, handling those in whom we have little interest, or possibly don’t want anywhere near us, is a way of persuading ourselves that we don’t spend too much time texting, tweeting, Facebooking with “friends,” some never met. I’ve hugged, ergo, I AM connected with real people.

Isaac Asimov, in “The Naked Sun” tells the story of a murder committed on a planet on which the inhabitants live essentially as hermits, viewing each other by hologram. Actual seeing is too painful. They are attended by robots. Perhaps we fear becoming acclimated to living as hermits, taken care of by technology. That fear is producing the urge to grab and hang onto anyone who won’t respond aggressively. This might be utter nonsense but there has to be some reason for hug, hug, hug.

I with it would stop happening to me, except when done by family, friends, lovers. I think I’ll get a large name tag that reads, “I do NOT need a hug.  Nor do I want one.”

Rip Off

You have got to be kidding. What the …? One Thousand Five Hundred Dollars for a Will, Power of Attorney and Living Will? Get real. I had laser surgery that cost $1400. I doubt the lawyer spent more time, energy and money to get where he is than the surgeon who repeatedly zapped my eye to correct a botched job done by another surgeon. Yes, surgeons do make mistakes and mess up patients. There is always risk for doctor as well as patient with surgery of any kind. What was that $1500 lawyer risking? Nada. Zilch, Zip. I find it downright insulting.

Of course I almost immediately thought of Dick the Butcher in Shakespeare’s Henry the Sixth. “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” I know he was speaking of corrupt lawyers, not all. But one can’t avoid the line coming to mind even when one, I, would not advocate terminating people of any profession.

I don’t know how to deal with my umbrage. I guess the only thing I can do is try to write a story that happens in Lawyertown. A place in which legal people who offend basic sense and decency get justified comeuppance. I’ll have to avoid being too vicious, although I suspect some of you might want to urge me on in that direction. Those of you who’ve had dealings with lawyers. Perhaps dealings similar to mine. A lawyer friend, who now writes legal articles for a major publication, had recommended some one who I decided not to use after getting his fee quote, which was not as bad as the Attorney at Insult, Esquire. Two or three days after the recommendation I got a “Don’t use him until we talk” warning from my friend. I still don’t know why I was warned but it’s got to tell you something about lawyers if they can so quickly be warned against after being recommended. Another lawyer who couldn’t get around to completing legal documents for me has been disbarred. Misappropriation of client funds. I won’t bore you with my long tale of woe with him. 

Okay, I’ve vented. I’ll go work on the tale of Lawyertown. I suppose I’ll include the Shakespeare quote as an epigraph. Won’t be able to resist.

Good luck with any of your dealings with lawyers. Lots of luck.